There are legions of stories of people, famous and less so, whose actions, the events in their lives, or, more specifically, the events we shared with them have stayed with us regardless of the physical distance between us. I love that from birth we are on a team, a family. Like every team or family, you are going to have great highs and, sometimes right from the outset, huge challenges and lows. We don’t jump to our feet, run, and take care of ourselves from the womb at the speed of “lesser” creatures in this world. Thank heavens someone is there in minute one to care for and support us. That pattern of teamwork carries on, to some degree, through the rest of our lives. It introduces a few of what I have come to believe are eternal truths.
First, opposition or resistance exists in all things. Second, we always have the power to choose how we respond to the opportunities and challenges that come our way. Third, it is easier to deal with opposition or resistance when you have a team, even multiple teams, who are there to help you along the way and who provide memories and support to carry you through the rest of the journey when you are no longer with them, even if the separation is the inevitable one that comes with the end of this life’s mortal journey.
I am grateful for all the teams I have been on, and continue to be on, in support of my efforts to be the best I can be. I hope that I have been, and continue to be, of support to my teammates on every team I’ve been part of from birth to this present day.
AND — and this is important — I know there have been times I absolutely could have been a better teammate. For that, I am sorry, and I embrace the grace to keep learning and striving to be better.
Many members of the teams I am associated with — family, students, players, fellow coaches, friends, teachers — in all avenues of my life have heard me say, “The more I know, the more I know; I need to know more.” I have much yet to learn.
On the days around October 21 and October 22 of each year, leading up to them and following them, and on many occasions throughout the years since 2011, I find myself thinking of so many teammates of that time, and specifically four.
Our Warriors team of 2011 was special, early and late. Over Thanksgiving we’d travelled to the United States, to San Diego and the Anaheim area: played a game, watched a college game at the Rose Bowl, done Disneyland, and returned. On the weekend of October 14th we’d had one of the greatest comeback victories in Warrior history, defeating Peace River in Peace River. We headed into our bye week not wanting to lose momentum before the playoffs, so we had the captains divide into two and draft an orange team and a black team from our roster, and we ended the bye week of practice with a scrimmage on October 21st. The team picture was taken after the “friendly game.” Everyone was reminded to be safe. See you Monday, as we start getting ready for league semifinals. As a team, we gathered in to break it down: Three, two, one, Warriors! One, two, three, Fight On!
A few hours later we would learn of an accident. Zach would be left in a coma for several days, from which he would recover. Tanner, Walter, Vince and Matt, our teammates, passed away.
There are so many lessons in life that we would love to push as far away as possible. The perfect cycle is to live a full, complete life, and the definition of that complete life is far more complex than any of us can fully comprehend while we’re here.
Any life that ends unexpectedly, before what we all hope is a full life journey, carries a heightened sense of loss. This is not to say one death is more important, sadder, or more unfortunate; it is simply before the anticipated, desired time. Opportunities for everyone involved fall short of where you’d hoped they’d be. They left us too soon. Far too soon.
The opportunity is there to learn so much, including some lessons we’d like never to be confronted with. And yet there is great value in coming to understand the reality of doing all we can with the time we have to be the best we can, to see the good in each and every person, and to do all we can to support each other in being our very best selves.
If memory serves me correctly, Tanner and Walter would be coming up on 30 years old, while Vince and Matt would be 31, sometime in the 2026–27 “school year.” Much has been written of their nature and character. It is absolutely best to focus on the many great things about them as 15- and 16-year-olds and to take anything that was not “perfect” — though I don’t know of anything personally — and believe quite simply that they would have apologized when they learned better and done better as they learned. Just as I hope all of us would.
It also serves us well to hold forgiveness and compassion in our hearts to this day for the young driver, now (in 2026) maybe 33 to 35 years old. From the early morning after the accident to this day, I have wished only that he can be his best self and a positive example to others. I would hope the same would be extended to me if I were ever involved in such an accident.
The author Jon Gordon often writes fiction with extended analogies to teach principles of leadership, perseverance and character — The Carpenter, Training Camp, The Energy Bus, and with P.J. Fleck, Row the Boat. But it is his non-fiction book, The Hard Hat: 21 Ways to Be a Great Teammate, that comes to mind today. It is the true story of George Boiardi, a Cornell lacrosse player whom his coaches describe as possessed of a “warrior spirit”; one said he “never saw a guy run faster and harder to the ball,” and that “off the field, this warrior was soft-spoken, quiet, and humble.” In researching the book, Jon visited George’s parents and asked about the contrast between the whirling dervish on the field and the soft-spoken, humble young man off it. George’s mom went up to his room and brought down a paperweight with the quote attributed to Benjamin Franklin: “Well done is better than well said.”
The book focuses on George’s leadership attributes and character. Different players and coaches saw different attributes, and they were sharing them because, in a game, George had taken a shot to the chest that unexpectedly interrupted his heart, and he passed away. It was the same condition, commotio cordis, that Damar Hamlin of the Buffalo Bills survived, but nearly two decades before that level of medical care was available at the side of a field.
I can see so many of these in Walter, Tanner, Vince and Matt, and in others we have all learned from. So here is an invitation. The attributes George’s teammates named, and the ones Hawke’s knight writes to his children about in Rules for a Knight, are not complicated. Humility. Effort — the kind that sweats more than it talks. Reliability. Putting the team ahead of yourself. Encouraging the person beside you. Gratitude. Patience. Generosity. Forgiveness. Courage. Friendship. Hold those up against your own memories. Can you see them in teammates past — a grandparent, a coach, a friend, a player you haven’t thought of in years? Can you see them in the people on your teams right now? Some of those people are still with us and some have gone ahead, and the pondering is worth doing for both. It is one of the ways we keep the good of a person alive, and one of the ways we decide what we want to be true of ourselves.
There is an end to every life. Remembering the good of all those who have left this life before us, and striving to be our best selves in part in memory of the good things we know of them, is a worthy and mindful decision we can make. Sharing those positive stories passes the memories forward and keeps a piece of them alive in us. And, as in the case of the accident that cost the lives of these fine young men, we can all work to ensure that we, and all we know, have learned from the tragic mistakes of others.
I also share these sources and opportunities because it is important to ponder where we are in our personal development and what we are doing with the time we are blessed to have in this life to be a positive impact in the lives of others. A number of my players and students have left this mortal journey before me: through illness, accident, and suicide. Doctors and researchers work to overcome illness. Accidents we can all work to reduce. And there is a great need for all of us to be aware of mental illness, to provide the supports we can to those so afflicted, and to help the people in our circles know they are supported.
Finally, I take great comfort in my faith that Walter, Tanner, Vince and Matt, as well as all those who have completed their mortal journey, are continuing in their eternal journey, and that loved ones, family, friends and teammates will be reunited in due time.
Stay Awesome.
This post was written by Rick Gilson with editing and drafting support from Grammarly (I know — even an English teacher still needs checking) and Claude AI.
